The Stress Ball
Every Stress Ball out there has been quarantining since long before everyone else. As soon as cases started popping up in China last year, they started stocking up on hand sanitizer and face masks. Anxiety sure acts like a crystal ball sometimes.
For them, every cough, every sneeze, every sniffle means they are infected. If they could, they would only leave the house in a hazmat suit. Their hands are dried out from washing, and they are going through their hand sanitizer supply fast.
The Stress Ball is panicking about not only COVID itself but also their supplies. Even though they are not running low on anything yet, they are known to ration everything like they won’t be able to hit the stores for months. They can stretch a bottle of Ragu for three pounds of pasta, and will not eat more than three Oreos in one sitting.
Hand sanitizer? Check. Toilet paper? Double-check. Pasta? Enough to feed Little Italy. If the quarantine lasts for another 6 months, The Prepper would be all set. They have enough canned food, toilet paper, cleaning products and more to last for a whole zombie apocalypse.
More than likely, a Prepper was not partaking in any panic shopping, since they probably already had a whole pantry filled with food and supplies that they had gathered from past hurricanes and all the time they stumbled across a buy one, get one free deal. The Prepper has always been prepping, they were born for this!
The Deep Breaths
Deep Breaths acknowledges and cares about COVID-19. They’re taking their precautions, they’re staying at home, but they aren’t panicking. They know that if they do their part, chances are that they will be just fine.
They try their best to stay rational during this crisis. They’re the type that will always try to look for the silver lining. Deep breaths is just glad that they’re getting to spend that much time with their family and that they’re finally getting to use their kitchen skills!
The Denialist might deny the gravity and sometimes even the existence of COVID-19 up until they are infected. They’re making little to no change to their lifestyle this quarantine, and if they’re taking some kind of precaution, it is because a loved one is making them.
They waited until it was mandatory to start quarantining, and even then, they won’t stop complaining about it. They are prone to believe in just about every conspiracy theory out there, as long as they feel like it is going to get them out of the house faster.
The Conflicted Denialist
Much like the denialist, they don’t believe that COVID-19 is as severe as everyone says. They might say that they don’t care, that it is just a flu, that the media is blowing it out of proportion, but they won’t leave the house without their masks and gloves on. The CDs were the first people to hit Costco to hoard hand sanitizer and toilet paper (you know, just in case).
The Expert knows more about COVID-19 than the CDC, the World Health Organization, and any doctor or nurse combined. Their TV is constantly on the news and they will not put their phones down as long as there is new information out there. They know about every study, every statistic, and will make sure to keep everyone around them informed.
The Essential Wannabe
While everyone is instructed to stay at home as much as possible, not everyone can. Essential workers put themselves at risk every day of this quarantine to make sure that everyone else is ok: Doctors, nurses, sanitation workers, transportation workers, police officers, firefighters, the list goes on.
The Essential Wannabe is not an essential worker by any means, but they think of themselves as absolutely essential. They can be seen at the store buying only a single chocolate bar and nothing else because they just need to. The Wannabe has plenty of food in the house but ends up eating out every day because “if I’m going to get corona, I might as well get it while eating this burger”
While we might all be guilty of being a Wannabe to some degree, it is important to understand that everyone needs to accommodate their lifestyles and change some habits to keep us and our loved ones safe. It is important to do as much as you can to avoid spreading COVID-19.
Have you heard that Harvard has some new free online courses available? The Overachiever has. And they have completed all of them. They’re also learning a new language, binging through their queue on Netflix, picking up new hobbies, crocheting face masks, organizing fundraisers, homeschooling their kids, and exercising every. single. day.
They’re making some lemonade with these coronavirus lemons. And you can bet that they are letting everyone know about it on social media.
It might be because they haven’t gone on a vacation in years or because they’re just used to enabling #vacationmode, but The Tourist is having as much fun as they possibly can this quarantine. They are taking this time “off” to relax and to party a little, of course. The Tourist puts the social in social distancing.
They are also the people who went to the beach and the parks (even though they probably knew they shouldn’t) at the early stages of the quarantine. Hopefully, they have already realized that this is not a vacation!
Not to be confused with The Prepper, The Gatherer is using this quarantine as an opportunity to gather something else entirely: their
s***. And they’re really getting it together. Their house has never been as clean. It might be a miracle, but many parts of their home are getting to know Clorox for the very first time
They’ve also organized every single messy drawer, cleaned that nasty fridge, scrubbed bathrooms, everything is pristine! Obviously, part of the cleaning might have been just so their coworkers don’t judge them as much on the Zoom calls, but no one needs to know that!